LUNAR

night walk home with the woodle
following the full moon
as it lights our way
across the long meadow
the craters are visible as deep shadows
we locate the plough
and the pole star
i vainly try to explain navigation methods to woodle
but she's not listening
the serenity is disturbed
by a a group of bragging teenagers passing by
then home to the glare of the electric lightbulb

THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE IN 100 OBJECTS

1) a plastic feeding bottle
2) a book of children's bible stories from my godparents
3) a pram
4) a sticklebrick
5) a leather caser football
6) a scrabble board
7) a black and white family photo album from the 70s
8) a silver jubilee commemorative spoon
9) a skateboard
10) a raleigh roadrunner bicycle
11) a silver survival swimming badge
12) a copy of 'shoot' magazine
13) a paperback copy of watership down
14) an olivetti typewriter
15) a practice 'intelligence test'
16) a leeds building society passbook
17) a jumbo cricket bat
18) a pair of size 3 new balance football boots
19) a 1963 bush record player
20) the beatles 1962-1966 lp
21) my mum's nylon-string guitar circa 1981
22) the beatles revolver lp
23) a bontempi electronic organ
24) an illustrated book of birds (3/4 completed)
25) a glass demijohn
26) a second-hand hi-fi system from rumbelows
27) the byrds fifth dimension lp
28) newspaper clippings from the birmingham evening mail letters page circa 1984
29) a uk driving licence
30) a letts a-level revision guide
31) a uk passport
32) a cassette of rem's murmur
33) a student union card
34) an a1 drawing board & t square purchased from jonathan emmett
35) a rotring ink drawing pen
36) a green woollen trenchcoat
37) a payslip from key personnel employment agency
38) a concert ticket to see u2 at wembley stadium in 1987
39) a black 'church' t-shirt
40) a university degree certificate in architecture
41) a round-the-world air ticket
42) a khaki & navy blue karrimoor backpack
43) a travel diary of the usa, canada and new zealand from 1989-90
44) a yha international membership card
45) a sony walkman
46) a praktika camera
47) a steel beer barrel from carlton's brewery in sydney
48) an ankh earring
49) a dog-eared sky blue address book from 1990
50) a PADI diving certificate
51) a lonely planet guide to south-east asia
52) a photograph taken with chris smith in march 1991 in a bangkok guesthouse
53) a pair of doctor marten's shoes
54) a nepalese waistcoat
55) a photo posing at the thorong la mountain pass high in the himalayas
56) a copy of 'how to teach english'
57) a spanish-english dictionary
58) a hiking guide to the basque country
59) a rough guide to spain circa 1994
60) a fostex 4-track portastudio
61) a hair band
62) a filter coffee machine
63) a carton of soya milk
64) a silver-plated seahorse brooch
65) a hardback copy of 'revolution in the head'
66) a beermat from the goat & tricycle pub
67) a clay kimchi bowl
68) a wedding certificate
69) a print of venice
70) a book of london walks
71) a blue waterproof anorak
68) a set of hanbok
69) a pair of metal chopsticks
70) a 10000-won korean banknote
71) a korean fender acoustic guitar
72) a cd-rom of 'sonar' digital recording software
73) a copy of 'the new internationalist' magazine circa 2003
74) a cd-rom of a computer scan of a 20-week-old foetus
75) a letter to tony blair protesting the imminent iraq invasion
76) a compliments slip from 10 downing street dated march 2003
77) a washable nappy
78) a promethean electronic whiteboard
79) a buddhist prayer bell
80) a family portrait from summer 2004
81) a cd of 'mustard seed'
82) a paperback copy of 'the compassionate revolution'
83) a marshall reverb electric guitar amplifier
84) a yoga mat
85) a personal notebook circa 2006-07
86) a black pilot v5 pen
87) an eyes-too-close-together teddy named 'george'
88) a 'green benefits' cotton banner
89) a nylon 3-man tent
90) a birmingham university id swipe card
91) a logo design for northfield eek-o-centre
92) a national trust membership card
93) a high-visibility jacket
94) a pair of steel toe-capped boots
95) a 'giant' bicycle
96) a pair of vegetarian shoes
97) a volkswagen passat saloon car
98) a pair of leather walking boots
99) a cd of 'artifact'
100) a piece of hannah elisabeth artwork from summer 2010

HEATED

courtesy of the morning star...

RAINY DAY WOODLE #1

the woodle and i finally track down the party
down by the brook at the corner of the lake
the brief shower has cleared and the park feels clean and fresh
not that a spot of rain is going to put us off
well kitted out as we are in our waterproofs
this morning we have been to the swimming baths
where after woodle's weekly lesson
i demonstrated my prowess at the front crawl
by doing a width in just ten seconds
and then astonished my fellow swimmers
by crossing the baths underwater without coming up for air
(well the woodle was quite impressed anyway)
as we draw closer to the ranger's jeep i recognise adam
a familiar face from my nvq course earlier in the year
it's good to catch up
adam tells me how the cuts are biting in the ranger service
how all are being asked to sign new contracts
requiring them to be prepared to work any day of the week
without receiving the current anti-social hours premium
which will knock four or five grand off their modest salaries
of such "efficiency savings" are the con-dem cuts made
(our green spaces con-demed!)
today's job is to clear leaves and other debris blocking the brook
the woodle applies herself to this task with rather too much gusto
grabbing a rake and wading wildly into the water despite the warnings
almost immediately filling her wellies with water
i admire her pluck though
as i wring out her socks and empty her boots
she sits on the wall and grumbles
but she gamely puts on her wet boots again
and resumes battle with the elements
sockless and slightly less gung ho
everyone applauds the woodle's efforts as she carries on raking
through showers, midges and cold wellies
we toddle home happily having done our little bit for the big society
david and george please take note...

MENAGERIE

Come and see my menagerie
I’ll show you creatures great and small
You’ll see them all
I'll be your teacher

Just see what waits behind the gates
I’ll show you creatures
That I’ve acquired from far and wide
For their special features

Exotic birds with rainbow feathers
Prowling cats that bare their claws
Fireflies that glow and sparkle
Scaly fish with deadly jaws

Come and see my menagerie
I’ll share my secrets
Wondrous beasts you won’t believe
You will be speechless

Fierce fire-breathing dragons
Pegasus the flying horse
A phoenix risen from the ashes
A griffon and a sphinx of course

Come and see my menagerie
I’ll make you welcome

TURNAROUND

in 1967 you could smoke anywhere you wanted to
but you couldn't be gay...
now it is the other way round!

TEARS OF SHAME

today a grown man well into his fifties
broke down in tears in front of me
this man was a trained doctor and pharmacist in his own country
a middle eastern nation that has suffered terribly
at the hands of invading superpowers
before fleeing to continental europe
to a country where his qualifications weren't recognised
where he was forced to work long hours as a taxi driver
to feed and clothe his family
now that he has come to britain
not content with the lowly part-time work he has found
he wants for nothing more than to work at one of his two chosen professions
he hates having to accept state benefits to provide for his children
it makes him feel like a beggar
as he tells me his story
i reflect on the media scare stories about greedy asylum-seekers
out to rip off our "over-generous" social security system
despite his years this man has pride and aspirations for himself
he wants to provide for the children
who will be part of tomorrow's britain

SELLING IT TO THE PUBLIC

during the daily ritual this morning
i caught a quite amazing discussion
notable for its bare-faced cheek
the conversation revolved around the best way of selling public sector cuts
to the ignorant massess...erm...the general public
to minimize the psychological impact and snuff out any possible protest or dissent
never mind the genuine misery that these decisions could cause many people
the concerns of the 'toady' programme are with how politicians
(and hence powerful interests)
can get away with culling public services!
bonfire of the quangos?
make that bonfire of the useful qangos
the ones that have held corporations to account are being swept away
the ones with the purpose of boosting corporate profits remain untouched
make no mistake
the "economic crisis" is disaster capitalism
- manipulating a crisis to reconfigure the economy in the interests of big business
myxomatosis
who could suppose this?
england is sleeping and nobody cries...