RITUAL OBSERVED

there is a bizarre ritual that i carry out every morning
it involves a strong element of sado-masochism
and goes against all my better instincts
in my defence
i believe that the ritual encourages me to martial counter-arguments
against the stifling dross i must put up with in the course of the ritual
unfortunately mrs f and the lovely woodle are subjected to it too
although lately i've noticed that mrs f has also started to succumb of her own accord
the business i refer to was observed once again this morning
when i plodded reluctantly downstairs to the kitchen
and turned on the radio 4 today programme
my late appearance ensured that i tragically missed the 8 o'clock headlines
the ones that i perenially hope will feature a genuine glimmer of hope
among the catalogue of mis-information, distortion and delusion
a glimmer that sadly never arrives
and isn't likely to anytime soon
so i brew the coffee and set the porridge bubbling on the stove
and endure john "rottweiler" humphrys' 8 o'clock interview
with home secretary malteser may-not
on the prescient subject of "defence" spending
(for defence, folks, read "attack" in bbc / government doublethink)
the "interview" (time to dispense with quotation marks)
consists of a trivial game of cat-and-mouse
humphrys the rottweiler prodding whatnot to explain the gov's spending priorities
fighting cyber-crime?..."the war on terror"? (sorry!)...
building new aircraft carriers?...blah blah blah...
whatnot blustering and refusing to answer the question
she does helpfully confirm the government's number one priority
which is of course to protect its citizens from the danger of attack
the question begs as to how waging constant war on muslim countries
instead of seeking opportunities for dialogue and political agreement
might achieve the stated end
but the rottweiler fails to deliver
on issues of any genuine import nothing is said
honest discussion is as usual completely absent
mention is there none of geopolitical control
of maintaining a good corporate investment climate
at the cost of thousands of innocent lives across the globe
instead the rottweiler is revealed once again as a meek puppy dog
rolling onto his back to have his tummy tickled
letting whatnot off the hook with a playful lick
meanwhile in the region of 40 billion squid of public money is at stake here
dosh that will be subsidising the uk arms industry
and ensuring that private investors get a good return on their shares
daily ritual observed