Wednesday, 12 January 2011


my morning train dash to aston
finds me among the metro readers
in the absence of any superior reading material
or other interesting activity
most of my fellow commuters turn to this freebie
which is picked up from the stand
briefly perused
then abruptly discarded
usually left folded in two on a seat for another passenger
or for the mythical cleaners to bin
the metroland readership is fodder for an endless parade of ads
inducing its audence to fulfil their duties
as consumers of luxury goods, hi-tech services and processed food
it's all there
the competing broadband and mobile packages
the sporty cars
the souped-up laptop computers
the "free" 40-inch toshiba lcd hd tv(!)
the cut-price airline tickets
the new hollywood film release
the online gambling sites
the breakfast cereals
the bottled water
and the asda "fridge-fillers"(?!)...
interspersed among the ads
are bite-sized chunks of syndicated snooze
dumbed down by the metrohacks
typical headlice:
"america united in grief" (over gabrielle giffords)
"growth threat to recovery" (nothing matters more than economic growth)
"tweet fa!" (footballers discovered sending rude massages on twitter)
such is the meagre daily diet in metroland

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