Antenna

Antenna

Thursday 5 July 2012

IN REFLECTION


looking back at my credo of the sixteenth of may
from the vantage point of six weeks further on
in many ways i can say
i have been spectacularly successful in ploughing my own furrow
i have embraced freedom
and i have taken responsibility
i have assembled a veritable portfolio of teaching projects
from university wannabes to korean child don't-wannabes
(actually they seemed to enjoy their weekly lessons
and told me i was the best teacher in the world!)
from desperate housewives to desperate presesessioners
whose classes i self-marketed and self-promoted
then there has been the commercially sensitive error tagging project
which turned out to be a computer screen-staring drudge
albeit of an intellectually stimulating kind
the main problem being the large doses of medicine at one sitting
where small spoonfuls would have been more digestible
all of which brings me finally
to being locked up in a hotel suite every evening during the euros
with the boisterous boys from jeddah
at least it was a good way of avoiding watching england matches
i knew their desire and motivation was lacking
when they started waving twenty pound notes at me
in the hope of persuading me to finish the class early
but the worst thing was the endless bickering
not to mention the mindless classroom violence
(bruce lee-style fly-kicks and vicious diving strangleholds!)
and the strained arms and shoulders
from lugging bicycle panniers of books and waterproof clothing
to and fro across the rainy city
all in all i have to say
in hedging my bets
i have overdone it
i have taken on too much
i have kept too many irons in the fire
i have ensured that the merriment has been in short supply
and now i am paying the price
in listlessness and in exhaustion
it feels like a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder
but at least it was my choice
and i hope i have learned my lesson

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