RADIOACTIVE

You ask me why I don't get printed
In respectable publications
You ask me why I don't get published
In the mainstream magazines
What have I done to burn my bridges
With the editing committees?
How did I manage to crush so many toes?

It's 'cos I'm radioactive
Oh I'm untouchable
It's 'cos I'm too hot to handle
And I'm unmentionable
They won't touch me with a bargepole
They avoid me like the plague
Because I'm radioactive
That is why

You ask me why I get rejected
By the paragons of Fleet Street
You ask me why I don't impinge
On our prestigious Fourth Estate
Could I have been a touch more clever
Than to ruffle all their feathers?
How did I put their noses out of joint?

It's 'cos I'm radioactive
Oh I'm untouchable
It's 'cos I'm too hot to handle
And I'm unmentionable
They won't whisper my initials
They won't codify my name
Because I'm radioactive as plutonium

The answer is simple
I tried to tell it like it is
But my honesty was treated with disdain
Now my face doesn't fit
I've landed in the shit
And none of them will speak to me again!

It's 'cos I'm radioactive
Oh I'm untouchable
It's 'cos I'm too hot to handle
And I'm unmentionable
I am persona no grata
I'm the devil incarnate
And I'll be radioactive till I die
And I'll be radioactive for a thousand years!